~Dusk~

Thursday, December 29, 2011

It's a beautiful dusk, this December 29th.  Brad and the big kids are throwing a frisbee in the front yard. We all did it a couple hours ago but they can't get enough. And for some reason, in their minds, the front yard is way better for frisbee throwing than the back or side. Emma is walking around in her Christmas gown that she all but refuses to take off, eating. Yes. I let her walk around and eat. It's a fourth child thing, I suppose.  We undecorated today. It was fast and furious. I despise it, so the quicker we get it done, the better. I also bought groceries today and when I was asked, "Do you want your milk in a bag?" I smiled, almost laughed, and said, "YES, please!" It makes me laugh thinking about it... I have had more than 7,000 pictures on my computer. That is beyond ridiculous, so I've been slowly going through them, deleting ones that don't scream, KEEP ME!! So far, I'm down to  roughly 6,800. LONG way to go.     Such a neat gift. Organic pears from Harry and David. Thank you, James and Ashley Mitchell!      Their favorites. Baseball was our game this year.                           I am still enjoying our break from the norm but I feel ready. Ready for ballet to resume, ready to get Jake in guitar and back in golf lessons. Not ready for school or early bedtimes though.  *****Edit****** This post is so old but I just thought I'd make it public anyhow.  Funny thing of the day. If you don't know my six year old, Avery, you really should. She's a trip. Precioius. Hilarious. 17 stuck in the body of a 6 year old. Complex. Tender headed. Witty. Helpful. Dramatic. And just precious. This morning, letting the big kids out of school. The back of the Suburban was open, she was crawling from the back to the front, still in her pajamas.  As she's getting situated, before I pull off, she sighs, and almost under her breath, says, "I don't want people to see my morning face. It does NOT look good." LOL!!! I am seriously laughing out loud right now. I would give my right arm to have it on tape because it was so hilarious.  I have NEVER thought, much less uttered the phrase, "morning face". Although, come to think of it, that's a perfect explanation. A little puffy, crud in the corner of your eye, messy hair.  A Morning Face. Yep. I know that face, and Avery, baby, I don't always want people seeing my morning face either. But, darling, your morning face is beautiful. ~stacey

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~Buee~

Saturday, December 17, 2011

~Buee~ Getting my hair cut and colored today. Brad's rounding and seeing one patient in the office. Here's hoping he gets home before 11. :-/ Don't know why I make these kinds of appointments when he's on call. You would think after 11 years of this I would know better.  Do you think it would be cruel and invasive to go through the rooms of my 6, 7, and 10 year old (when they aren't around) and bag up all the little junk stuff that clutters it and makes it so hard to keep tidy? I wouldn't pitch the junk stuff for about two weeks. That way, if they came to me moaning and groaning about that tiny little plastic prized possession, I could dig it out. Otherwise, if they don't miss it and none of us have deemed it worthy to be dubbed a keepsake, then why keep it? Any thoughts? 'Cuz I'm on the verge. Trash bags are calling my name. Intervention needed.  This baby of mine l.o.v.e.s "buee". It's bunny with no n. I've never had a child attached to something and have always assumed that Mothers have a role in forcing a thing on a baby, encouraging them to have a  "raging need for it" because it's endearing or something.  Not true.  Emma has blown that theory right out of the water. I bet I hear, "BUEE!" 8 or 10 times a day.  We get in the car, "BUEE!" We are going outside, "BUEE!" Putting on Peppa Pig, "BUEE!" Going to bed, "BUEE!" Poor Bunny is filthy.                                               oh! almost forgot....at Brad's office party, they had a photo booth. talk about fun. ~stacey

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~Milk In A Bag~

Friday, December 16, 2011

~Milk In A Bag~ I'm in the grocery store. I've suffered through the process of grabbing eggs, milk, bread, bananas, chicken, sour cream, cereal, coffee creamer, peanut butter, Pringles, ground beef, noodles, yogurt, and pistachios for Brad's stocking.  I'm tired of being there. I dread putting it all in the car, putting it all out of the car, putting it all in cabinets and refrigerator, and putting all the plastic bags somewhere.  Then the question comes. Without fail, just about every clerk does it to me.  She looks down, almost condescendingly, over the rim of her glasses as she stops the scanning process and asks, "Do you want your milk in a bag?" I feel like she should say, "Ahem. If you have no concern for the environment, if you are so wasteful as to require TWO plastic bags for your TWO gallons of milk that ALREADY have handles on them, then I suppose I will reluctantly put them in bags for you. So, would you like your milk in a bag?" My response is almost always the same. I keep loading things on the belt, make no eye contact, and respond, "Nah. It's okay." Knowing the whole time, I WANT MY MILK IN A BAG!!! Is that too much to ask?  So next time, when that question comes around, I plan on looking at the clerk, straight through her glasses, dead in the eyeball and say, "Yes please."        Contentment vs. Covetousness Realizing that God has provided everything I need for my present happiness (I Timothy 6:8) A valuable lesson. Especially this time of year. We've been talking about it and I continually remind myself of this.  How much stuff is enough? Someone will always have more than you. There's always more to get. It doesn't bring a lick of happiness. Just because I can afford it, doesn't mean I should afford it. What's reasonable? Am I being generous to others? Am I teaching my kids delayed gratification? A wise man once said, "Draw a circle around your wealth. (Determine what you "need " to live at a comfortable level") Then give the rest away." Otherwise, the more you make, the more you spend.  A song I love says, "Have what you want but want what you have".   I got the kids a couple old movies for Christmas and I can't wait. "McClintock" and "Hot Lead and Cold Feet". The Walls are bringing the classics back, baby!  It's rainy. A perfect first day of Christmas break. I plan to stay in and maybe even in pajamas all day.  Coffee is ready, kids are in the den waiting to start "The Polar Express".  Enjoying this moment. ~stacey

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~Abby~

Monday, December 12, 2011

~Abby~ "Let no pleasure tempt thee, no profit allure thee, no ambiton corrupt thee, no example sway thee, no persuasion move thee to do anything which thou knowest to be evil; so thou shalt live jollily, for a good conscience is a continual Christmas."  - Benjamin Franklin         ~Abby and Cameron~ "Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it." - Thomas Paine I just love that quote. My heart is light and for that I am thankful.  I can smell Christmas break. Four days.....but whose counting?   Have a wonderful week! ~stacey

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~Tears and Truth~

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

~Tears and Truth~ I don't even know where to start.  Since Sunday, a week and a half ago, I've lived with this cloud. It's heavy, dark, and suffocatingly thick. There's been no real reason for it. I'm not hormonal, nothing traumatic has happened-I can't explain it, I'm not typically a depressed person, but this has been very, very real.  Anxiety, fear, worry, dread, fatigue, not much appetite, and despair have been my constant, unwanted companions.  What if something bad happens? Mr. _____ died. How is his wife coping with that? They just found the body of that little girl in a dumpster. People are actually saying Tim Tebow's kneeling and thanking God for success is offensive. What is this country coming to? How will I handle being old and alone? Talk about some "stinkin' thinkin'! I've had a big dose of it. Before you dial 1-800- JUSTSAYNOTODEPRESSION, know that I'm okay. Promise I'm not jumping off any bridges, or staying in bed all day. The truth is setting me free.....even as I type.  At first, I attributed my gloom to the time change and constant cloudy/rainy days. The darkness has been killing me. I've never hated it so much. I've kept doors and every shutter wide open, and just about every light in the house on. I would stay outside every minute I could right up until the sun went down because I felt this tremendous need for physical sunlight.  Then, over a week's time, Emma, Avery, and I took turns with a little stomach virus. I was tired, so I figured maybe waiting to see who would get it next, and my lack of sleep was making me a little pouty.  My Grandmother is 102 and drastically going downhill. Maybe I'm already grieving for her, I thought.  I had done all I knew to do. Thinking happy thoughts. Singing good songs. Forcing smiles. Thanking God for all the good things in my life. That was my part. Not rolling over or giving in to it. Still wasn't finding a resolution, though. Brad came home night before last, took over dinner, and said, "Go." "Get in the car, go grab some dinner, and work it out." I dropped my spoon, grabbed my keys and rushed to my Suburban, hoping to beat the tears.  "God. I do not know what is wrong with me but something is. You know what it is and I'm tired of it." I pulled in the CVS parking lot and laid it all out.  I placed my cares at his feet. I out loud, cast my cares on Him. Then my heart heard this. The joy of the Lord is your strength. It's a verse in Nehemiah, it's a song I sang as a child, and it's sort of become cliche'. But the best part? It's TRUE.  I nodded my head in silent agreement. I had dumped my heart out, cried my eyes out, then decided I couldn't sit at CVS all night.  Target. I had a return to do and some shopping that is so much easier without kids. So I dried my eyes, got out, and had the tiniest sense of peace that I hadn't had all week. I think I even smiled once.  This morning, I emailed my former pastor, Tom Hall. I think it was a three sentence message asking only for their new mailing address. Though we haven't seen them for years, he influenced my life, officiated my wedding ceremony, and has always held a special place in my heart. He replied with their address then said exactly and only this: "Blessings and Joy! You live in a redeemed world." I was stunned. Even now, I stare at those two sentences dumbfounded. It is nothing short of God breathing a little big Word to me through a man four states away, who had no idea I was in a pit of despair.  I don't even think I fully understand that. I live in a redeemed world. But it sure does give me hope and excitement. God is not sitting in heaven wringing His hands about the state of the world. He's not allowing a single thing to happen to me unless He is working good through it. He promises to never leave me or forsake me. He is ruling and reigning and cares enough about me to give me.....let's see, just in the last couple days, I can count four "little" miraculous things that undoubtedly were His whisper of comfort and confidence.  The God of this universe is able to and even wants to meet me in the middle of my mess.        "Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you;" Psalm 55:22     "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Phil 4:4-9 "Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;" Lamentations 3:22-25 We are well on our way to a merry Christmas. It's merry because I celebrate today the same thing I celebrate December 25. It's not a celebration limited to a certain square on the calendar or dependent on perfect circumstances.  Blessings and Joy! You live in a redeemed world. ~stacey

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~This and That~

Saturday, November 26, 2011

~This and That~                 102. Can you imaging being 102 years old? ...The things she has seen... Born in 1909.  The roaring 20's.  The Great Depression. WWI. WWII. Korean War. Vietnam War.  She's lived through 19 Presidents.  She's awakened more than 37,254 mornings.  She delivered five children. Lost one. Baby June died before she was two.  She has outlived all her siblings, cousins, three son-in-laws, and nearly all her friends.  She is a precious lady. I'm grateful to have such a Grandmother.  Thanksgiving 2011 was a good one.                             The whole crew minus Emma. (Baby's got to nap.)                        And last but not least, a few Christmas card outtakes.       We're almost done decorating, Christmas cards are ordered, the bulk of my gift buying is done. My goal is to finish that up this week when the kids are at school. The shopping part is not my favorite but I love stuffing cards and wrapping gifts at night. Saving the best for last. I think we found a home for the dog. He's at his new family's house for a trial period and things are going well. So, with fingers crossed and hopes that it CONTINUES to go well, Brad is headed to the basement to rid the unfinished part of Easy hair and get things straight down there. Emma is sleeping, the big girls are at a birthday party, Jake is in his favorite place. Home. He's a man after my own heart. A home body.  I am going to my closet. For whatever reason, that is THE area. Everything but the kitchen sink gets shoved in there and about four times a year, I have to make a path and re-organize.   Have a marvelous week! ~stacey

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~My View At 4:52~

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

	~My View At 4:52~ ~stacey
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~Grateful~

Friday, November 18, 2011

~Grateful~ Grateful. Yes I am.  So very grateful........              For big things and for small things. For some things temporal and some things eternal. Grateful for all of it. I have a husband who, the other day, completely humbled me. Does that ever happen to you? Where you are in awe, even just for a minute, of the person you married? He felt convicted about something and went to the people involved and apologized. The "something" wasn't that big a deal, but he said he thought about it all day and wanted to set it straight. What a man. He is upright, humble, honest, loyal, hilarious, affectionate, tender-hearted, and top on my list. He's the guy you would want in your foxhole. -you know what I mean?   Won't let you down. Will stick it out no matter what.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm grateful for little feet in little shoes who snag my newly embroidered pillow. *sigh*           I'm grateful for Legos littering my floor. I bet I'll miss them when they're gone.      I'm GRATEFUL for no school for a week!!!                                                                    ~Reese writes a paper and I doodle~ ~We ALL need this week off. Really~                          I'm grateful that I can go buy groceries without having to carry a calculator. I've been there and could do it again if I had to, but...... yeah, thankful. (Besides, four kids in a grocery store require both my hands and occasionally a foot. How could I possibly punch numbers durning all that?) I'm grateful for these four little chickens. They forgive me when I mess up. They tell me when I don't make my bed. They hug me spontaneously. Avery and I cried watching Kit Kittredge yesterday in the car line at school. Then we both got tickled at how ridiculous it was that we were crying over that movie.         How about you? I would love to know one big thing and one little thing you are grateful for. ~stacey (officially in  holiday, Thanksgiving, eat good food mode. let the feasting and fellowship begin.)