Tuesday, December 8, 2009

~June Cleaver~A Stalemate & Some Pictures~



Tuesday, December 08, 2009

~June Cleaver~A Stalemate & Some Pictures~

I've been thinking a lot about my role as a wife and mother. It's not like I qualify as a newlywed but I hope to get better and better as I age...ahem....mature.  I remember before I got married, while living in the euphoric bliss of young love, wondering if in the years to come, this man I was going to marry would eventually grow tired of me.How would we change with time? I knew life wasn't a fairytale but I refused to believe things had to go sour or become a bore after a certain number of anniversaries. Here I am, 12 years later, fully aware of what real love looks like. The ups and downs.... the romantic encounters and "you drive me crazy" moments.... the deepest "I love you" and the regretful word spoken in anger....all of it defines this crazy little thang called love!

By God's grace and a really, really good man, I love where I am and with whom I am walking through life.

(In an effort to keep it real, just as I was typing that last sentence, Brad called me with how much it's going to cost to get disability insurance for him. I almost had a duck, my stomach tightened and I am now perspiring! So, while I do love where I am, I won't mind when the school loans are paid off and there's a little less pressure! Better yet, I will choose contentment, TRUST Him and not fret over things I can't control. How 'bout that?! Wow. Okay, back to it)So! My role as a wife. I've come to the conclusion that the feminist movement has to a degree, infiltrated even the conservative. Not completely but in small, subtle ways....in attitude and response if nothing else.I always wonder what goes wrong first in failed marriages. Is it the small things or that one, monumental offense? Or both, maybe.
 

In one of my favorite romantic comedies, a couple had gotten divorced but remained friends of sorts. Years later, the man asked his ex-wife, "What happened with us? Did I just not see you?" She is floored and responds, "No. You didn't." He then apologizes and they laugh about how long it took them to identify that one misstep.Recently Brad and I had been  discussing some things that kept re-surfacing and had reached a stalemate. We were in our den, had talked til we were cross-eyed, were completely bogged down in the details and weren't making enough progress to feel like we were really dealing with the heart of the issue.

Then the light came on.
The bottom line.
The summarizing statement that would lead to perfect clarity and freedom. 


I decidedly and almost excitedly declared, 
"The BOTTOM line is that YOU aren't LOVING ME and I am not RESPECTING YOU!!!"
(I am NOT addressing marriages where only one person is trying. It's a two way street and for any one person left to navigate both sides one their own, God bless you.)After that epiphany, I began to mull over the image of the 1950's wife (you know...June Cleaver ) and the stark differences in the wife of 2009.    
(I hope I need not say it, but for the record, YES, I believe in equal rights for everyone, I do not fetch my husband's slippers and pipe while he leisurely reads the paper, and I do not believe any woman should take abuse in any form. OH and I do not usually make a hot breakfast and nor do I smile and say, "Yes, Dear." every time I am addressed!)What comes first.....the husband loving or the wife respecting? Don't know. 
I can only deal with my part and this is it. Do I find joy and satisfaction in finding ways to be a help meet for Brad?  Do I grow weary of constantly being needed? (Of course I do, BUT, when I'm at that point, do I find strength and satisfaction in knowing this is a vital part of my calling in life?) Do I spend more time thinking about things he needs to do better than I do thinking of ways to encourage and build him up?I know for a fact that when I am most concerned about making myself happy, I am anything but. When I am looking out for myself, demanding that MY needs get met, things go downhill fast. On the other hand, when I choose selflessness and an attitude of service towards Brad, not only am I the most content but I am amazed at the way he responds to me.
It doesn't take much to make him tick. A hug, "Do you need anything?", any little gesture that lets him know I'm thinking about him does amazing things. I hesitate to even publish this because I feel like I have so much growing to do in this area.

I think after time and multiple children, you have to be  intentional in not loosing your marriage in the midst of family. You need to re-visit the idea of taking care of each other.
 

As for my role as a Mother, I don't have the energy to go there tonight. As far as the children are concerned, today has been a day full of joy but also, with more than one issue, I have been left quivering to the point of tears over what a faith walk parenting is. My resolution today is that rearing children is not for the faint of heart!  This is a blog for another day.It's Christmas and I love it. 




 

Never would have thought I would wrap in black paper but I'm a fan. 



 

A few rejects from our Christmas card selection:

Brad really wanted the dog in the final shot but it just wasn't meant to be.


 



The goofiness that is us....or him at least!:



 


It's bad when you have to use the finger! "You need to straighten up! " (and she did)



Will have to post our card pic soon. Until then, ENJOY this beautiful December. 

~Stacey


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

~A WholeLotta Pink Goin' On~


Wednesday, December 02, 2009

A WholeLotta Pink Goin' On


I've never considered myself to be a fan of pink. Just don't care for it. I like blues and browns. However, I happen to have two little girls who love pink. For at least 2 or 3 years, I've been begged, "Can we please paint our room pink with rainbows, princesses, sparkles, and horses on the wall?" 
I'll probably never be okay with horses and rainbows on the wall BUT, I caved on the pink. I'm satisfied with my mix of khaki in the middle of all the pink and thrilled with the gasps and exclamations of, " It's BEE-Utiful, Mom!!!" I don't consider any room in my house to be completely completed :) but this room is as close as it gets for the time being. I think I need a brown runner over the chest of drawers to pull more chocolate in but just haven't found one yet. 


OH...and I DO have a son who also has a bedroom. I'll post a few pics sometime. Bless his heart, I hope he doesn't drown in the estrogen. He's surrounded by girls. Even his classroom is far outweighed by them! I think he's destined to be an amazing caretaker of women.....he's getting lots of practice anyway. 





 

 






Blogging has taken a back seat to life these last several weeks and months. I haven't had a lot of deep thoughts running around my head....just trying to keep it above water! 

~Stacey



Monday, November 16, 2009

~100 Years & Patience~



Monday, November 16, 2009

100 Years & Patience

I feel like I've been meeting myself coming and going these last two weeks. Things have been so very busy of late but after Friday my calendar is not quite as full and frankly, I'm looking forward to it. I'm a girl who likes to stay in bedroom shoes ALL day at least once a week! One of the things I love most about having a new baby is that it forces me to slow down. It gives me a really good reason to say no to just about anything. It gives me the freedom to stay home and just be Mom. Of course it also means a few sleepless nights and adjustments to a new lifestyle and schedule. Now that I think about it, I believe I'm still in shock. LOL! 
Anyhoo.   Busy schedules make me stop and take little moments to appreciate the simple things. The stuff that really matters. 

The laughter and smiles of my kiddos.









Well! Here I am...WEEKS later, coming back to finish this post! I survived my busy spell and the pace around here is a little more doable. *happy sigh*

My sweet grandmother celebrated her 
100th birthday recently. I wish everyone knew her and I wish I had a video of all the things she's seen in her lifetime. Can you imagine being born in 1909 and still being alive, well, and mentally VERY competent in 2009?! 
 


She is a lady, who despite hardships, maintains a grateful posture and has this amazing ability to "move on" with grace and acceptance. As a child, her family lost their farm because a trusted friend misused funds that were entrusted to him. She lived through the Great Depression and World Wars I and II. June, her second born daughter died at the age of 18 months. She has outlived two husbands and all her immediate family. Despite the difficulties life brings, she is a happy, contented woman. My own personal hero. Someone I would love to be like. 


 


~The morning of her party. It was a beautiful day.~


 

Brad just called from the den, "Hey Babe, come hang out with me in here!" So. This will have to wait...yet again. 


It's now Monday morning. I've got errands to run but before I go...we recently had a  birthday boy around here. He is such a sweet thing. I see so much of me in him that it makes me laugh. Don't mess with our routines and why can't we be perfect?! :)
 

 

 

  
What a Daddy he is. Plays with the kids and loves it as much as they do.

I have lots more to say but no time to say it. Just one thought I'll leave you with.
We aren't a family with crazy anger but we do have little flare ups of impatience.
You know. Irritated tones here and there, knee jerk reactions. I've been amazed at the peace that has come from Brad and I making a concerted effort to simply watch the tone in our voice when buttons get pushed. The results are amazing.
So, this is my banner at the moment:

Patience from the gut. Not forced through gritted teeth. REAL. 
Impatience doesn't bring a better result. It merely teaches itself to those around me.

Very Thankful~
Stacey 

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

~New Season~


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

New Season

Life seems to get busier and busier around here. I'm not entirely complaining but most of the time a slower pace suits me just fine.  I know there are seasons and stages of life, the ebb and flow, I just don't want the busy, hectic, and stressful to take a minute away from the fun of life. 

The kids are still little, but I already sense we're just starting to enter a new, more complicated part of this journey. A wise lady once told me that when your babies are small it's very hard physically but so very simple when compared to parenting older children. There are the emotional stresses of how they are being shaped, their self-esteem, their decisions, their hormones, the attitudes, their coming independence, and their spiritual well-being. (Just to name a few!) In just a few conversations with my almost eight year old, I miss the simplicity of the toddler. That being said, I wouldn't trade where I am now....I love hearing his little thought processes and the opportunities I have to attempt to connect with his heart. I'm praying for strong characters to be developed in all the children, that they would know who they really are and why they are valuable. 

More than that, I feel the need to find strength for myself as I parent. To resist worry, fear, and the tendency to over analyze the details, as I so easily do. 

I constantly find myself stuck in the middle of two different though processes:1. You can only do so much with your kids. They're going to make their own choices, so do the best you can and hang on for the ride. They'll probably turn out just fine. 2. Spend every waking moment thinking about, planning, and doing things that train, teach, and train some more. If you, the parent, do it well, your kids will most definitely not waver. So, work, work, work!
Both scenarios leave me a little stressed out and I know the key is probably a combination of the two. 
I think it's time tweak our strategy as we enter phase 2 of parenting school age kids. We may end up years down the road deciding we had the wrong plan but we at least have to have one! I know where to go for answers but I also know God gives us PEOPLE to encourage and share the wisdom they've received.

So, how 'bout it?! Any insight from you Mothers who have done this a little longer than I? Any parenting books I can't go without reading?
 

Here are a few shots of our recent getaway.


~Getting a kayaking lesson from Grandpa~






~I just love her hair~






   
~Getting Ice Cream~




Daddy took her squirrel hunting. She begged to go every morning. I ignored the grossness and took a picture because she was so proud. For those of you who don't care for guns or dead animals, so sorry. Don't mean to offend but if you took away this man's ability to hunt, you would almost take away part of who he is. :)


  
The kittens were almost as good as picking out a pumpkin. I got so tickled with Avery holding  him by his neck and tail. Months ago, when we said we were getting a pet, this is what they imagined. A tiny little something that would never outgrow or bother them!

  







~Attitudes were flying during these shots....we're still works in progress.~
As they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day" Please tell me that's true! :)






Lovin' the fall.....hope you are too!

~Stacey

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

~A Party~


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

A Party!

We were nothing but a party last Saturday. Someone asked me how old I was to which I responded, "I'm that scary age when, if you're pregnant, they want to do extra tests on the baby!" To the tests, I say, "Thanks but no thanks" and to the birthday wishes I say, "Turning one year older beats the alternative!" Every day is an absolute gift so turning 35  is a privilege.

AND! Four years ago on my birthday, we celebrated another birth day....Avery Elizabeth was born. Without digging out her baby book, I can't remember what time it was or how long she was, but I remember the unique style she arrived in.

 

I had been at the hospital a number of hours, maybe half the day. The sweet 70 something nurse had just checked me and told me I was just about a ten and that she was going to start getting things ready. She preceded to happily open all the sterile instruments at a reasonable, relaxed pace. I lay there and thought to myself, I kind of think this baby is moving south and that nurse better pick up the pace.    Not wanting to over react, I waited a couple more seconds and tried to sound casual as I said, "You might want to check me again. Like now." She paused, like, "Okay sweetie, I'll be there in a sec." I turned to Brad and gave him that look like I mean N.O.W. He took a quick gander under the sheet, went a little pale and his eyes got as big as half dollars. He was staring at the head of our third child. The nurse had walked over by this point and immediately got panicky. Brad, (M.D. Brad, let me remind you) looked at her and asked, "What do I do?!" She was to busy fumbling for the phone to call my obstetrician to even hear the question, so I, completely astounded at this entire scenario replied, "YOU CATCH HER!" A half a second later, Brooke, the resident on call who also happens to be an angel, ran in the room just in time to reach out and grab our precious Ave as she made her debut on her mother's birthday.

To this day, she's a little spit fire. Full of expression. All or nothing. She's either really happy or really not happy. There's no guessing with her! The other day, she and big sister were given a task of cleaning up a certain room. I explained that Reese was in charge and would help her know where to put things. True to form, Avery looked at me, put her hands on her hips and said, "When I get big, I am going to be in charge of EVERYTHING!!!" Alrighty then.  





~Who needs cake when there's icing?~





~ First cousins. Born three days a part. ~



   

   

 


Happy October!
~Stacey