~TheWeekendAndGideon~

Here I sit.
Kitchen is clean only because I refused to let anyone leave until it was so. 
(Even the "but I need to go to the bathroom" excuse fell on deaf ears) 
Bar stools are pushed in, can lights are off, candles and lamps are on. Brad is tucking Emma in and big kids are showering and reading.
Dinner was homemade comfort food…..the very best kind.
We all six sat around the old Ethan Allen table that I bought years ago from an ad in the paper for practically nothing.
Reese dimmed the lights, I'm sure for the cozy factor.
Because I am in a current war over untimely snacking, every one ate just about everything on their plates quite happily. 

It is now the second night of the whole time change thing. 
It's just NOT my favorite.
I mean, it's 6:30 and it's been dark for close to 30 minutes. 
I've been in pajamas since about 5:30. (which will make two days in a row)
No, I won't be in p.j.s  every day at 5:30 but I can't say that's not my default. 
I think bears have it right with the whole hibernation thing. ;-)
Dark=Bedtime as far as I'm concerned. 
I loved it when I was little because I thought it was awesome to be able to stay up past dark.
Not so much, any more. 
It's become a bit of a joke, really.
My sister offered to purchase a sun lamp for me.
Yesterday morning Brad looked at me and said,
"Well. Are you going to survive this evening?"
(I laughed)
My friends love me even with my crazy bits and for that I am thankful. 

But! 
It's all good….every day is a gift and this weekend was such fun.
Dressing up is one of my kids favorite things.
Friday was a cool, crisp night, and one that usually proves to be cozy.
My parents came up, as did Cameron and Abby, 
aka Chameron and Bobby. (what Emma used to call them)
Saturday was football, football, a TJ Maxx run, and more football. Sunday was a gymnastics meet, grandparents, and a short game of back yard football. 

It's November already.
I must admit I frequently feel 
outnumbered
outmanned
overwhelmed
incapable
and 
insufficient.
There are days I question the whole way we do things.
The rat race
Our cushioned, self centered
"I'm gonna get mine" 
American dream mentality.
I'm currently asking God to give me a fresh perspective
of my purpose here on this earth.
I want to matter.
To make a difference.
To love people well.
To do what needs to be done 
so that when I get to the 
beginning of eternity I hear
"Well done, good and faithful servant."
Is there any thought more repulsive than to coast through
life never having done anything or never having fulfilled your purpose?
I seem to be drowning in school, schedules, feeding, clothing, paying bills, carpooling, taxi cab driving, laundry, cooking, and countless other mundane tasks.
But this nugget of truth….
this little sentence Brad read last night brings me to tears this night.
He was reading the story of Gideon to the kids.
It's in Judges, chapter 6:

"The Lord is with you, mighty warrior."

"Pardon me, my lord," Gideon replied,

"but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? 

Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, 'did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian."

(here is the good part)

"The Lord turned to him and said,

"Go in the strength you have and save Israel…."

Go in the strength you have.
That just reeks of grace. I don't know the theology and right and wrong about God and grace in the Old Testament but I do know that I am in desperate need of God's mercy and that,
"Go with what you got, Gideon. I know you are lacking, but I've got you covered….just start walking with whatever you have.
Do the best you can with what you have right now..."
THAT is why I am a Believer in Jesus Christ.
THAT is why I'm committed to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Moses.
Because He covers me in all my insufficiencies,  inadequacies,  and short comings. 
So, tomorrow and this week, I will
go in the strength I have.
I will look for God's glory and grace right here in the middle of my mundane, normal, American life.
He put me here and He has a purpose and plan for me and for you.
"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father…" Col. 3


And a few shots from the weekend….
I'm so thankful for these little people God has entrusted to me 
and for the older people who help me know how to rear and train them. 
I love the oldies and the youngins!

~stacey