~40~

So as it turns out, turning 40, is not nearly as scary as it seems.

I know because I reached this milestone recently.

I've never paid much attention to the hysteria that is associated with becoming a certain age, and the implications that that particular number damns you to being "old".

I hold to the firm belief that every day spent above ground is a good day. (which may show a hint of my own ignorance as it relates to my understanding of eternity with Jesus and just how awesome and euphoric that will be….thank you Lord for loving me in my stupidity)

I have found that, with the exception of turning 26, every birthday I'm blessed enough to see, is nothing but a Providential gift. …..and one that I happily receive.
(26 was an emotional birthday. I had just had a miscarriage and Brad was in his 3rd year of medical school…..gross)

Part of why I love where I am….

As it relates to my physical appearance…..
It most likely, is not going to get any better…..I will hold my own as long as I can but let's be honest….we are ALL aging…..
so I may as well enjoy what I got while I got it before what I got is gone.
I figure when I'm 60, I'll LONG for this 40 year old body.
I'm pretty content in that regard.

As it relates to my (usually) sweet husband…
we are committed.
in it for the long haul.
I love 17 years in
even with all the bumps, bruises, hurts and irritations
because every year survived
is a year of choosing love
and choosing love ALWAYS brings reward.
always.

I recently had an epiphany…..
I don't have to convince him that he is in the wrong.
I can respond rightly to just about anything
without holding a grudge
without pouting
without being condescending.
the results are mind blowing.

As it relates to my little chickens:
I've come to understand that they are each their own little individuals.
On the surface, this seems obvious
but at the root,
accepting your children
with their strengths AND weaknesses
is a game changer.
No longer do you feel the need to say,
"Don't be that way"
or
"why do you do that?"
Nor do you subconsciously shame them
for their idiosyncrasies, that at times, drive you absolutely c.r.a.z.y.

Yes, it is my job to help my little people work on their junk,
to tweak the things that need to be tweaked
to be sandpaper to hopefully help them manage their rough edges.
but it's a fine line…..
see, loving them right smack dab in the middle of their little weirdnesses,
takes away the embarrassment and frustrations
even when you are training teaching, and rearing.

As it relates to life in general:
The more I go, the less I care about frivolous, temporal things.
There are still, and always will be hiccups…..
the temptation
to worry about things I can't control,
to stew over people's perceptions,
to waste today fretting over yesterday or tomorrow
but every day I live,
the truth of God's Word is more and more my life line...
and the promise of eternity where I answer only to Him,
motivates me to measure my actions and motives by my heart
because the motive of my heart is all that matters.

I go to bed nearly every single night with 
visions of loose ends dancing in my head
my to-do list only half crossed out
full dirty clothes hampers and
weeds poking through the pine straw.
BUT most nights,
I leave the undone undone…..and it's okay.
I set my mind on things above
I think on the good things and 
settle myself on the notion that
we will live to fight another day.

~I'm a fan of 40.

~stacey