Can I just say.........
Tru dat!!
"Isn't for cowards" may just be the biggest understatement ever made.
Today, my son gets in the car from school. (They are in a model where they go twice a week, and are home doing assignments three days a week. School is about 400 students)
I pick and prod, as I usually do.
How was your day?
Were you lost in math class? What did you learn?
What did you do in study hall?
Who'd you hang out with at lunch?
What'd you do at recess?
Did y'all play football? AGAIN?
Don't y'all know there are other things to play besides football?!
Did you get picked last? AGAIN?
Did you make any good catches?
Because recess has been a bit of a sore spot lately.
It's slim pickins at recess at a small school.
This one little group of boys all play on the little flag football team at the little, awesome school we are a part of.
Jake doesn't.
So guess what?
He's low man on the totem pole.
On the drive home, he senses my mama heart breaking and keeps telling me how frustrating it is and how it's not fair and yadayada.
We get home, my brain full from mulling over my options.
1. Beat some kids up.
2. Email teachers and principals, imploring them to teach a class on sensitivity and inclusiveness.
3. Go observe recess and give really dirty looks to kids who don't know how to consider others.
Can't get okay with any of those so I just get real.
I get over my emotions, sit Jake down and say,
"Okay, son. What are the options? I mean, let's discuss a plan. What can you do about this?"
Our synopsis:
We have a few choices.
1. Keep playing with the 6th graders, and be willing to always get picked last and never get thrown to.
2. Go play with the 5th graders and see what happens.
3. Play something else entirely, with none of his friends.
4. Get mad and allow himself to feel rejected over and over again and decide he must be worthless because he's not big, bad, Johnny Football at his 7 man pick up football game at his 25 minute recess in 6th grade.
5. Decide that God allows difficult situations for a reason. The hard stuff comes to us to shape us and make us more like our Creator if we let it. Decide that we end up much happier if we think about how we can bless other people and not focus on me, mine, and ours so much. These things can make us aware of people around us that are hurting. We can really become one of the few stellar individuals that actually consider others who may be hurting or feel left out of some situation.
And get grateful. Jake has friends at school. He's not being picked on. It could be worse!
I believe this is a truth that even an 11 year old, who feels left out at recess football, can begin to grasp. Unfortunately, I know quite a few adults who still don't really have a handle on this.
The truth for my 6th grader is the same as it is for my 39 year old self.
Where is my source?
Why am I valuable?
What matters for eternity?
Does seeking my own happiness actually bring me happiness?
Do I believe that God allows things I don't like for a reason?
His precious heart is open to hear things from me, and ultimately form God. May it always be so. And may he be a leader. A man after God's heart who lives his life with purpose and an awareness of others.
It was a productive ride home from school. He's moved on to guitar practice, sit ups, and push ups, so he can move on to the fun stuff he does after school.
You get things out, talk about them, run them through the filter of truth, then get about life. Enjoy the many blessings we have.
We are having beef stroganoff for dinner. It's cloudy and cool. Brad may be home early.....or at least close to "on time".....whatever that is.
Happy Tuesday afternoon to you!
~stacey
This was a timely read for me, since your sons recess scenario sounds similar to my 4th graders. Wise words you shared. Wise words.
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