My Nephew Got Married

 Whether it is my literal age or the age of instant everything, I find it hard to find the focus and continuity to create many or any blogs these days. 

...but also, sometimes...a "mini blog" on Instagram doesn't leave me enough room...people there mostly want pictures and a caption...and on occasion, that confinement simply doesn't get it done.

So here I am, December 18, a little before 2 in the afternoon, about to vomit all my words onto this screen.

My nephew got married yesterday. He is the older cousin and also best friend to my son, who got to be best man for the day. 

I can't yet talk about the prank they pulled  DURING THE CEREMONY, where when Jake was asked BY THE PREACHER, to give the ring, he acted like he couldn't find it in any of his pockets, looked directly at me with the most convincing, "I don't have the ring" look you've ever seen. When I tell you my hearing left me, I went white a ghost, and my vision blurred, I am not exaggerating. I literally looked away and thought "son, you are on your own for this one...I can't help you and am going to pretend I'm not here...go with God." Low and behold, he fumbled around a few seconds more in his pockets, "miraculously" pulled out the ring, followed by a collective sigh of relief from every person in attendance.    Little did he know that the father of the groom, "get it done, no nonsense, I will handle this" Uncle Jon, was about to get up give Jake Wall a good pat down to find that blasted ring. 

Real funny. 

My sister and I (both happily in our 40's) have gotten tickled more than once, about sweet young things getting married. Half of you wants to say, "Oh.....you have no idea what you're getting into...you are going to want to karate chop him in the face sometimes." 

But the way bigger half of me says this:

GET MARRIED. Love someone more than you love yourself. Buckle your seat belts, get some thick skin, put on your war paint, and get a life partner. I know what makes Brad mad, and he knows what makes me mad and we both TRY NOT to do those things for the most part. 

I told a sweet friend recently that marriage is not a god....(God is over marriage, and sometimes, marriages fall apart no matter what you do...God is bigger than that and has abundant grace for all of it) 

BUT, as much as it depends on you,  love your person hard.

Here's a little truth...I don't know a better place to practice selflessness than marriage....there is an opportunity for holiness played out on the canvas of marriage unlike any other. I'm talking to myself here, fyi...the sometimes "queen of selfishness".

Yesterday, as I looked at my parents, married in 1970, he, always ready to make a new friend, she, there for all the details; Ashley and Jon, married in1995, he is type A, she is type whatever isn't type A; Lauren and Benjamin, he breaks it out on the dance floor, while she connects with someone on the periphery, our other friends with a beautiful blended family, me at the wedding with my brood while my Brad is "stuck" back home on call...I'm reminded of just how much I love marriage. It's ugly, stressful, weird, intimate, beautiful, unique, rewarding, and hard. 

People want to be loved....to know you'll stick with them....there's something invaluable in that. Whether you are on year one, year 61, on  spouse #1 or #3, start now. NOW. 

So, nephew and new niece, brand new bride and groom, get after it. 

Work it out. Fight clean, Forget little stuff. Forgive quickly. Don't try to make your spouse you. Don't spend more money than you make. Don't look left or right. Decide that each other is your only option. Love hard. I get it..."Til death separates us" is heavy but trust me, its good. Congratulations! Marriage, so far for me, 24+ years in, is a imperfect journey well worth it.

~stacey