it's a rare pause when i feel like i am fully in the present and yet can imagine being 10 years down the road.
brad's still working,
i just bathed, read to, prayed, and tucked in little emma.
her sweet, fluffy fair skin self is the last tidbits of baby we have in this house.
(and i seriously grieve a little each day that a little of her baby fat disappears... because I adore every single bit of the preschool years…..makes me cry……it's just the sweetest…..the mismatched clothes, the mispronounced words, the emerging opinions……love it all)
from my recliner in the keeping room, all i can hear is the ticking of my new wall clock, the rain drops,
and the giggles of a 9 and 11 year old coming from the shower…
they are singing, squealing, and saying a silly line from Tarzan, in the best impersonation ever:
GOR-I-LLA!
…you have to hear it to fully appreciate it.
my man child is showering quick so he can have some Wii time before bed.
i'm pooped in the best sort of way.
felt like i spent an eternity in the car today.
waded through serious 3rd grade stresses.
the struggle is real.
….at least for my 9 year old.
and i quote,
"I mean, today, has definitely been like one of my least favorite days ever."
( she's n.i.n.e.)
she may be the most interesting, beautifully complex being ever created.
i love her and marvel at her every day.
hard to believe i begat her. :-)
is begat the right word? ….or do just men "begat"??
whatever…you get my drift.
she is the captain of her own ship and will most definitely do something remarkable one day.
i mean, sheer curiosity just about makes me want to have 10 children.
it blows my mind to have four little people so different.
i.love.it.
(mostly)
all that being said,
i know that fast forwarding 10 years, the house will most likely be quieter
there will be four adults floating in and out throughout the year, toting dirty laundry and hungry bellies,
instead of four permanent, needy, schooling, dependent, growing, loud children.
i feel about this season exactly like i felt about the "baby soup" season.
i will 100% miss it.
looking forward to days ahead when Brad and i can go and come as we please,
when we can sneak away for the weekend almost unnoticed,
when kids can get themselves to wherever they need to be,
but i will miss them being in my nest
under my wing
every day and every night.
parenting...
it's such a faith walk.
two days ago…..my view at 8:02
~now that I'm all by myself,
crying
in the rain (literally)
with a husband still working,
I think I'll watch a movie.
good night, world.
hoping you can find joy in your moment.
~stacey
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