~My Own Little Parenting Dilemma~

Friday, July 10, 2009

~My Own Little Parenting Dilemma~ Yesterday evening, I caught a portion of two shows that are complete polar opposites. One, entitled, "17 Kids and Counting", as you probably know, profiles a home school family with values very similar to ones I was taught at home.  The other, "16 and Pregnant" obviously, is about young, single girls having babies.  Several things struck me as I was blinded by these contrasting life experiences. The first thing I pondered was, "How does God see these two vastly different situations?".    Sometimes I wonder if we have even a clue as to how Jesus would not only respond but how he  FEELS...what His perspective is on such different human plights.  Does it bother Him as much as it bothers us? He's not limited by human failures. He doesn't choose His vessels based on track records.   Dear ole' David. Adultery, murder.....hmmm.  Peter DENIED even knowing Jesus. Talk about shame, guilt, and being sure you just bought a one way ticket straight to Hades!  Saul became Paul.  God told Hosea to marry Gomer, an adulterous woman.  How many times have we heard, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." I Sam. 16:7b Or in Galatians, Paul says, "As for those who seemed to be important-whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance-" The HEART. All this external stuff we see with our eyes is just a manifestation of the condition of the heart.... which is what He is after!  Broken, hurting people don't know they were created with a purpose and are loved deeply by their Creator.  Of course we know this, right?! We've heard it a million times but has it really registered?  THE OBVIOUS: The Bible is full of admonitions to fear the Lord, honor your father and mother, be diligent, seek the Lord, etc. Godly principles are crucial. Making right choices means you reap huge dividends even here on earth. No doubt there's a way God designed us to live to bring honor to Himself and benefit us! As a parent, my single greatest burning desire for my kids is that they would be HIS. That God would reveal Himself to them and that they would respond to Him. The question I constantly ask myself is what is the connection between training your children and God capturing their hearts? How much is in my control and exactly what is my responsibility?  If I do "A" and "B" and don't get "C" as my result, am I a failure as a parent?     There are a million decisions to be made regarding our children. Public, private, or home school? Will they be allowed to date or "encouraged" to court? What movies are appropriate? Should we move to the middle of "No-wheresville" and be their sole influence up to a certain age? Or should we give them a solid foundation, spend time with them playing, teach them truth while letting them immediately, gradually be exposed to real life?  See, I've personally known people from various upbringings, where very different decisions were made regarding what they were allowed and not allowed to do, who all love God with all their hearts and are completely sold out to Him. (Which says to me, "THERE'S NO FORMULA!") Darn it!!!       So, I'm back to their little, precious hearts.  A very wise woman once spoke on God's heart in child rearing. The one thing she said that I think about at least weekly is,  "Rear your children in God's presence." (She spoke of Samuel growing up in the temple under Eli's guardianship- I Samuel.)  Let them see you seek the Lord, turning to Him in every situation. Have a transparent walk with them. Practice humility. Admit wrong, be willing to apologize.  This is my only hope. I certainly won't do it all right but I can pray for them.  I can learn in humility as I go. I can daily refuse fear.  I can tell them the truth and provide boundaries as led that will facilitate their learning to make wise choices.  I can respond in love and grace when they mess up and even humiliate me. Whether they are four and practically yell across a church, "Is it that big, fat girl?!", or if they are sixteen and throw a horrid party at my house when I'm out of town.  (may it never be!! )    So, today, I'm deciding to TRUST my children and their "outcome" to Him. He is big enough to lead us in the decisions we make. My kids must decide what Master they will serve. Yes, I am a mother, but even that is not what defines me. I am a child of the King designed for a relationship with Him!    Okay, seriously, I am determined to post a really breezy, lighthearted  blog next time!! Stacey