It can be adjusted to fit any budget, schedule, or season of life and is one of those things that really should fall in the "marriage maintenance" category.
Fundamentally, I don't believe in "I gotta' get mine" or
"Look out for the big #1"
or "I'm going to do whatever makes my happy".
Selfishness is a lose lose scenario for life in general.
However, a little team selfishness
when it comes to you and your spouse is a good thing.
There should be a FIERCE PROTECTION OF and a
CONSISTENT INVESTMENT IN your marriage.
Protection indicates attitudes and choices…
investment indicates time, priority, and care.
As it relates to marriages or child-rearing, well meaning people who want to salve their consciences, boast that quality time is the critical issue. When in reality, as my parents have said for as long as I can remember,
~YOU MUST HAVE SUFFICIENT QUANTITY IN ORDER TO HAVE REAL QUALITY~
This idea is what dictated how much time we spent in extra-curriculars growing up because my parents were committed to having enough quantity because they so desired strong quality.
I suppose to some degree quantity is relative, and how much is enough will vary but I would venture to say that if your quality is lacking, you might should take a look at whether or not you are giving adequate time, energy, and effort to the relationship in question.
So on to our three day sneak away to Charleston and Isle of Palms. We decided we were going somewhere a couple weeks ago and only booked it two days before we left.
Weird but true.
I love this charming town because it is rich in history, there are hundreds of great restaurants, it's absolutely quaint, it's on the ocean, the natural beauty is endless, old plantations with huge live oaks are everywhere, and a lot of The Notebook was filmed here….what's not to love?!
Everyone should go if at all possible.
This is my bridge. Mine in the sense that it is my favorite that my eyes have seen for themselves so far. So, technically, I guess "favorite" is subject to change.
It absolutely amazes me that someone
has the know-how to build
something of this magnitude IN the water
that will not fall over
when ships go under it,
thousands of vehicles go over it,
and storms go through it.
Blows my mind.
Conservative estimates have this oak at 500 years old.
This picture doesn't do it justice.
It looks like something out of a fairy tale.
USS Yorktown.
Anything like this just about makes me cry.
The sacrifices made for our freedom become tangible when you walk through the belly of a ship that held the men who faithfully manned their posts and were willing to die in order to defend our country against any enemy.
~Sobering~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had absolutely worn the man out with pictures and selfies. He is a "live in the moment" kind of guy and I am a "I want to have pictures to look back on so I can reminisce" kind of girl.
He had stopped, smiled, set the timer, and held the phone all that he could stand. It got to be a joke as it always does…until finally, this last one.
I'm like a kid in Toyland in this town.
We were headed to the truck to leave when we came up on this street. I gasped.
"Brad! Look at those cobble stones! I wonder how long this street has been here?! Look at those buildings! Hang on, just one more picture of just the street…not us, just the street, then we'll go."
Because he knows my "perfect 10" is history and pictures, and because he is sweet, he happily stops, acts like he is equally enamored with the pretty street,
grabs the phone and tells me to stand there, because "pictures are better with people in them".
Then I laugh because I'm so awkward standing alone while holding the t-shirt I just bought behind my back so he, being sweet, says,
"Come on, let's get a selfie…I know you want one."
and we both laugh because it's ridiculous but it's not.
It's the dance of compromise.
A dance that every marriage should know.
Every alley in Charleston looks like the Magic Garden.
You really want to open the gate and take a deeper look but you're scared you'll encounter a dog or get arrested,
so you don't.
…because everyone needs a weird selfie where you get tickled because his hair is so long and is blowing so badly in the wind that it takes you to hold it down
with your apparently non feminine, NBA sized hand.
…so the moral of the story is…
make the best of what you've got
invest in the ones closest to you
try like heck to get away alone with your person every once in a while...even if it's just for 48-72 hours
try to be a giver not a taker
in your marriage
in your friendships
Oh. and go to Charleston.
~stacey
