I've always loved that verse.
I remember being in my mid and latter teen years, when there were "big" decisions to be made, when the sky was the limit, when the world was mine, when the options were limitless…
I took such comfort in knowing that God was working in my every day human existence.
Sort of takes the pressure off, in my mind.
I no longer have to sound super spiritual and attribute every decision I make to the handwriting on the wall.
If my heart is,
Lord give me wisdom
God, please open and close doors as you see fit
Jesus, help me want what you want
God, it's your way I want, not mine…then I can trust Him to direct as a walk.
See, He is weaving Himself in and out of the every day ordinary…the very fiber of our being.
Prayer happens all through the day...when I drive, when I'm in car line, when I breathe, when I'm going to sleep, when I'm in the shower…when something is on my heart, I "pray without ceasing".
I love the rest and peace that comes with total surrender.
All that to say, while there are some decisions that require an extraordinary amount of prayer and council, the majority of them seem to be a matter of,
use your head, Stacey
what seems like the wise thing to do?
what does Brad think?
what do I feel the most peace in?
is this thing consistent with who we are as a family…does it line up with our overall general goals?...
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…which brings me to this thing called gymnastics.
Our girls have all done it, but Reese in particular has done almost nothing but this.
In my experience, it's a sport you can't really do halfway. Progressing means you learn new skills, new skills mean new levels, new levels mean more gym time…you get the point.
Reese has had a measured amount of ability in it,
has loved it 97% of the time,
has had the same wonderful coaches for the 6 years that she's trained,
and has learned invaluable life lessons in the midst of it.
Without boring you with the details, it has become very clear over the last 6 months or so
that it is time to stop.
God answered my prayer that my 12 year old would have the ability to be decisive in this, all on her own. (If you know her at all, you know she is so amiable, that she has to work hard to speak her mind if she thinks it will upset something or someone)
Seeing her make this decision with little to no parental steering,
watching her bravely tell her gymnastics loving, internationally acclaimed, Russian coaches, who have loved and trained her for years, that, when the season was over, she was ready to "retire", has been nothing short of a miracle.
Simply put,
she has grown tired of being gone from 5 to nearly 9 four nights a week.
she wants to babysit
...to eat supper with us instead of after us
to be on the cheer team at school
she wants to cook
"Mom, I just want to be home more to play outside in the afternoons"
since she made the decision final, she's been giddy in a way that she hasn't been in a while.
bless her little 12 year old heart.
yep...when it's time to stop…you just know.
AND! ...as the CEO of Wall Household Activities Incorporated, I have made the command decision that while we are at it,
all the Wall girls are hanging up their leotards.
Avery would just as soon do tumbling only and she and Reese are tight, so that was easy.
Emma...well she is 6 so she can't possibly know what's best for her or really even what she wants.
we tried multiple times to start conversations about whether or not she should continue and somehow, we always ended up in RandomConversationville
"if I quit, I won't learn new skills"
"well, I don't know any kids in first grade"
or "Jake bossed me around today"
"well, I can't quit because the coaches will miss me"
Bottom line? She is 6. She can't even deal with this decision.
she's an unusually perceptive kid and doesn't want to upset the apple cart.
...she also wants to do whatever is in front of her that looks like fun…because she's 6.
and because she is 6, she's incredibly fickle.
gymnastics practice? no thank you, the neighbors asked me to play, so I'd rather stay home.
meets? yes please, because I get to perform and put glitter in my hair. all day every day please.
So! The CEO decided for her. Being the boss of them is a perk that comes with the job.
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Last meet is tomorrow.Regionals for Reese in Tennessee.
I cried writing letter to Coach Sasha and Coach Louiza.
I cried buying them a thank you gift.
I cried last night opening Reese's nasty, chalky, smelly box of grips and wrist guards that she brought
home from her last…last practice. weird to type that.
I'm hoping I won't cry at the meet tomorrow…but I'm thinking I might.
To not be a crier, this is a lot. I seriously need to get it together.
I don't believe in dramatizing ordinary things…but I also know women are weird and beautiful and complex.
Of course, I'll miss watching my three little women compete in sparkly leotards and glittery, way over gelled hair.
I'll miss the way the bar squeaks.
I'll miss the coach/gymnast bond.
I may even miss the sour dirty sock smell the gym has. -well probably not that.
I'll always appreciate the blood, sweat, and tears that helped shape my girls' character.
While a part of me feels a little like a prisoner getting out for the first time in years, I'm mostly very
much at peace and excited at what we are gaining.
What on earth will we DO with the combined 22 hours every. single. week. that we used to have someone at gym?
how on earth are we going to function with sports and activities that are *gasp* …seasonal!!?!
Here's the plan:
We are going
to breathe
to slow down a little
to have more suppers together at the table at the same time
to have a little more time to focus on fundamentals before these kids start getting driver's licenses and part time jobs
to have 6 or 8 free weekends in a year that were previously committed to meets
to carve out a little more time for getting outside ourselves…to look beyond our own backyard.
did I mention we are going to just breathe? (there's no law against it, you know)
So, whatever decisions you face for yourselves or for your family, trust in the supernatural guidance of an incredible God who knows when a sparrow falls to the ground.
Take a minute to ask Him to direct your steps
don't loose sight of your long term goals
don't get caught up in the rat race
don't get pulled into the river against your will…it'll carry you away in a heart beat
The answer is not always to stop. Sometimes, it is to power through, to keep on keepin' on.
Ask the Lord to show you when it's time for what. There's freedom when you know the difference.
Good decisions aren't always perfect…but peace is so much better than perfect.
~stacey
