~Jake~

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

~Jake~ So I mentioned in Avery's birthday post how Jake was already asking me when we could take his birthday pictures. Based on that, I assumed this "session" would be really fun and would last 25 minutes or so. Wrongo.  He was sweet, compliant, as usual but very much uninterested.  Walking outside, he said, "Hey, I like just this one outfit and I think maybe we should just take one picture and that'll be good, k?" Short story even shorter, 3 minutes and 27 seconds later, we were done.                                         So here it is. My favorite shot from the seven that I took.   Truth be told, I can't blame him. It was cold, windy, and there were more fun things to do at the moment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There are hardly words to express how I feel about this boy of mine.  He is a kindred spirit. He's SO much like me. He's not quite as stubborn as I am and is more of a pleaser....that's the proof he is his Daddy's child. He's 11, now, you know, and it's almost as if overnight, he's hit this infamous pre-teen phase.  Not so much in attitude but more in the things he notices. The questions he asks. (yikes) We've had discussions just this week that I did not expect but am so happy they happened. I've heard you better hope your kids talk to you when they are 9, 10, and 11 while they still think you are cool.  I've seen communication doors open between us that I'm so grateful for. You want to know your child is sensitive to right and wrong. You want your child to have the courage to be honest with you. You want your child to know you accept them and love them right where they are. You want them to know that there's no question, embarrassing or not, that you will be uncomfortable with.  The ugly truth is that your son, no matter how "protected" they are, absolutely, for certain, will face things you wish they didn't. This I've learned first hand. And oddly enough, it may come from where you least expect it.  Is he equipped? Are you training him, not to exist in utopia, (because that's worthless) but to excel in a culture where there is little to no sensitivity to right and wrong? Is he being told what is normal and what is unacceptable? You can't assume he is getting the truth unless YOU tell him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm well aware that I cannot make Jake's choices for him. He knows he is accountable for his own decisions. But I can do my part...which is to teach him not control him. I can encourage him to be a man of good character.  I can tell him if he sometimes feels like a salmon swimming up stream, that's a good thing. There is a time to be counter-culture. I am less concerned about his actions as I am with getting to his heart. What is underneath it all?  I know that my teaching days are numbered. I will love him, mistakes and all.  I will be an example of forgiveness and grace but will always hold him to a high standard.  I refuse to be lazy, to not direct him toward the truth, or to concede that he will be a casualty in the war on integrity.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jake, I love you more than you know. You are a great kid. I love watching you play the guitar and I'm excited to see you step up your golf game.  Cameron says you have an incredible swing.....and he would know. Your laugh is contagious. You would eat peanut butter sandwiches every day if I would let you. You love Nerf guns, legos, and making paper airplanes.  You NEVER miss Monday Night Football's "Come on Man" segment. Speaking of which, I would LOVE to know how you remember that ALL on your own.....it's like an internal alarm goes on at about 7:30 p.m. every Monday. You have grown by leaps and bounds in the area of responsibility and independently handling your school obligations. I sometimes say that you are a man trapped in a boy's body.  You are serious and sometimes slow to forgive yourself. This week, in one of our late night conversations, you said, "It's a shame you can't change the past". I love your sensitive spirit and your tender heart. Don't labor under the expectation of perfection.  Believe that you have the power to decide your thought processes. I am proud of you and the young man you are becoming. Dad and I are committed to you, warts and all. We are blessed beyond measure that God gave us you. Happy late 11th Birthday!         ~stacey