My Nephew Got Married

 Whether it is my literal age or the age of instant everything, I find it hard to find the focus and continuity to create many or any blogs these days. 

...but also, sometimes...a "mini blog" on Instagram doesn't leave me enough room...people there mostly want pictures and a caption...and on occasion, that confinement simply doesn't get it done.

So here I am, December 18, a little before 2 in the afternoon, about to vomit all my words onto this screen.

My nephew got married yesterday. He is the older cousin and also best friend to my son, who got to be best man for the day. 

I can't yet talk about the prank they pulled  DURING THE CEREMONY, where when Jake was asked BY THE PREACHER, to give the ring, he acted like he couldn't find it in any of his pockets, looked directly at me with the most convincing, "I don't have the ring" look you've ever seen. When I tell you my hearing left me, I went white a ghost, and my vision blurred, I am not exaggerating. I literally looked away and thought "son, you are on your own for this one...I can't help you and am going to pretend I'm not here...go with God." Low and behold, he fumbled around a few seconds more in his pockets, "miraculously" pulled out the ring, followed by a collective sigh of relief from every person in attendance.    Little did he know that the father of the groom, "get it done, no nonsense, I will handle this" Uncle Jon, was about to get up give Jake Wall a good pat down to find that blasted ring. 

Real funny. 

My sister and I (both happily in our 40's) have gotten tickled more than once, about sweet young things getting married. Half of you wants to say, "Oh.....you have no idea what you're getting into...you are going to want to karate chop him in the face sometimes." 

But the way bigger half of me says this:

GET MARRIED. Love someone more than you love yourself. Buckle your seat belts, get some thick skin, put on your war paint, and get a life partner. I know what makes Brad mad, and he knows what makes me mad and we both TRY NOT to do those things for the most part. 

I told a sweet friend recently that marriage is not a god....(God is over marriage, and sometimes, marriages fall apart no matter what you do...God is bigger than that and has abundant grace for all of it) 

BUT, as much as it depends on you,  love your person hard.

Here's a little truth...I don't know a better place to practice selflessness than marriage....there is an opportunity for holiness played out on the canvas of marriage unlike any other. I'm talking to myself here, fyi...the sometimes "queen of selfishness".

Yesterday, as I looked at my parents, married in 1970, he, always ready to make a new friend, she, there for all the details; Ashley and Jon, married in1995, he is type A, she is type whatever isn't type A; Lauren and Benjamin, he breaks it out on the dance floor, while she connects with someone on the periphery, our other friends with a beautiful blended family, me at the wedding with my brood while my Brad is "stuck" back home on call...I'm reminded of just how much I love marriage. It's ugly, stressful, weird, intimate, beautiful, unique, rewarding, and hard. 

People want to be loved....to know you'll stick with them....there's something invaluable in that. Whether you are on year one, year 61, on  spouse #1 or #3, start now. NOW. 

So, nephew and new niece, brand new bride and groom, get after it. 

Work it out. Fight clean, Forget little stuff. Forgive quickly. Don't try to make your spouse you. Don't spend more money than you make. Don't look left or right. Decide that each other is your only option. Love hard. I get it..."Til death separates us" is heavy but trust me, its good. Congratulations! Marriage, so far for me, 24+ years in, is a imperfect journey well worth it.

~stacey

Hogwarts at Home

 We used to have a playroom.

The problem with playrooms is that sadly, they are always usually outgrown. 

I packed up the dollhouse, the trucks, puzzles, and trains. The Fisher Price Noah's Ark and Peek A Block Giraffe will just have to wait their turn to be played with again. There will be more fat fingered babies in my house one of these days...and trust it, when that time comes, we will be here for it...with bells on.

Until then...

I have these sweet teenager-ish kids who love all things cozy and as far as they are concerned, there's not much cozier than Gryffindor's Common Room at Hogwarts.                              

So, I set about recreating the look and feel of their favorite room.

Shout out to Hobby Lobby (holla), Home Goods, Etsy (people there make "flying" keys and I got an actual six page Daily Prophet newspaper from someone in Turkey what?!), The Crazy Book Lady (in Acworth....check her out if you need used books), the cooperation and funding from BWall, a perfect hand-me-down lamp from Mom, my Dad's patience (that would rival Job) he drilled four holes in the wrong spot because I told him to drill them in the wrong spot, re-drilled them in the right spot and patched and painted the afore mentioned wrong holes that were entirely my fault. Did he complain or roll his eyes? Nope...just smiled and whistled, and lastly, shout out to summertime, that gave me the time in the first place (RIP).

Is it just me or did that sound like an Academy Award acceptance speech?

~stacey

p.s. also I never post about decor stuff because people and truth are way more valuable and the STUFF all burns up but please indulge me just this once.

It's for the love of Hogwarts, after all. 

                                                                                                    

When Life is Hard

 I vaguely remember seeing the sign.

"WARNING! Guests prone to motion sickness or dizziness should not ride"

Maybe it was the excitement of the lack of lines to Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey or maybe it was the fact that somewhere along the way, I was told that it would be like Epcot's Soarin'. Either way, I was convinced it would be a light, airy ride that would make us feel like we were flying in and around Hogwarts. Boy was I wrong.

I knew we were in trouble when I sat down in the pitch black dark in a ride seat that was a glorified cocoon. They pulled the hefty steel harness down tightly around my chest and shoulders, I felt the padded side supports that were there to keep my head from banging the person beside me. 

I instantly broke out in a cold sweat. 

Motion is not my friend. Like at all.

To make it worse, I had ASSURED Emma that it was going to be an easy, non scary ride...the ultimate betrayal. I could do nothing to help her. I knew at this point, it was every man for himself.

When you're buckled in, and the ride is leaving the platform, despite how rough you know it's about to get, there is nothing you can do except hold on.

Okay, Stacey. This ride is max 2-3 minutes long. I can do this. If I throw up, if any of the girls throw up, it will be fine. I will desperately apologize to Emma when it's over. I'm such an idiot! Why did I think this was a "nothing" ride?! Breathe, keep your eyes shut. You can do ANYTHING for 3 minutes. Just hold on.

Over here at the Wall house, we've been in a hard season for more than a minute. Hard on more levels than anyone knows. 

That being said, I realize that my hard isn't unique. I don't have to look far to see people going through varying degrees of difficult situations and seasons. Having an awareness of the needs of others helps me not get swallowed up in self pity. At the same time, someone else's hard that is harder than mine doesn't make my hard easy. 

God is able to sympathize with my weakness. He remembers that I am but dust. He is near to the brokenhearted. I find refuge under His wings. 

Sometimes, all you can do is just hold on. 

Stay steady in the hard, buckle your seatbelt, and hold on for dear life. 

~stacey

"we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul." Heb 6:18-19

Hebrews 4:14-16

Psalm 103:14

Psalm 34:18

Psalm 91:4

Hebrews 6:13-20

Cancer Again...For Real?!

 Cancer.

In October, 2020, when this unwelcome guest interjected itself into our family's world, I had NO IDEA that four months later, it would make a second appearance.

This time, its me. 

In the last three weeks, I've had a shady mammogram, a second mammogram that confirmed the shadiness of the first, seen an oncologist, had a needle biopsy, had an MRI, seen a surgeon, had a surgery to remove lymph nodes, and am set to have a second, should be final surgery later this week.

Can you believe this nonsense? 

I know...I can't either...but, before you panic, or send me a sympathy card, let me get to the good stuff.

It was caught SUPER early, the treatment is straightforward, AND I don't have to have chemotherapy.

In fact, I would liken it to an ingrown toenail in comparison to what our sweet Abby is walking through...and she would call hers something along the line of an infected ingrown toenail (her words) in comparison to what so many others are going through.

No, it doesn't negate her hard, or my hard, but keeping in mind the suffering of others is a great way to keep your attitude in check.

I cannot adequately enough describe the goodness of God. 

He provides peace in the misery.

He makes Himself near to those who seek Him.

"There's not a place, His mercy and grace won't find me"

I've chosen to put my faith in Jesus, I've surrendered my very life to Him, so whatever happens to me, big or small, really doesn't matter. 

He bought me at a high price, so whatever He chooses to do with me, whatever His plan is, I fully trust it. I may not always be having fun, but He is worthy of my trust.

The Body of Christ, as needy as she can be, have the power and ability to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and I've reaped the benefit of this first hand. 

Little things are big things. Prayer absolutely matters. 

And on a human note, Brad Wall is my hero. That man...I couldn't shake him if I wanted to. (which I don't...I plan to keep him as long as he'll keep me) He's my quarter back, my nurse, my comic relief, my helper, my truth teller...he is as steady as the day is long. They don't come any better.

And my friends and family....I just can't talk about it. If love and loyalty in friends and family is even the tiniest glimpse of the Father's love for us and what awaits us in heaven, then I'm all in. 

God.is.good.

~stacey

p.s. Abby and I are in a club...its very exclusive. We are NOT inviting our sister, Ashley to join. She is not welcome. She can send us hot tea and chocolate, and maybe come to our meetings, but that is all.

p.s.s. Also, can I just ask...what are the odds of...two sisters, 32 and 46, being diagnosed, four months apart, BOTH being caught early??....asking for a friend. 

p.s.s.s Abby is, at this moment, undergoing chemo treatment 5 out of 6...she's my hero. please keep praying for our girl!

All The Single Ladies....and/or Guys.

In order for me to write anything longer than about 70 words, I have to BE quiet and I have to HAVE quiet. Things usually ruminate in my heart and mind for a few days before they find their way to the surface. Here I find myself with about 45 minutes of quiet and a few days post rumination. I'm flying as fast as my fingers will type, to get all this out in moderate confidence that one person may take comfort in it.

Listen to me. If you are, oh lets say, age 15 to 20+ and find yourself single or single-ish (yes, I know about how this season works) please let me say this to you. Hear this in the most loving, bossy, confident, comforting, pleading, Momma voice you can conjure up. 

(I'm about to help you out a LOT)

I have been an older teen/young adult before.
I remember WELL wanting more than life to have
"my person"
to "be somebody's"
to be someone's #1
to be picked
to be chosen above everyone else
to always have someone saving me a seat, better yet, picking me up
to have a comfortable partner that I was proud of for every awkward dance, party, or wedding.
It's a big deal and a hard wired desire for most hearts.

If I could take your face in my hands, I would most definitely tear up as I said to you: 
I know. 
I really KNOW. I remember well.
I know the questions of if, when, who, and how, will I ever find someone who chooses me, are questions heavy enough to suffocate your every breath. 
Without a doubt, you will BE PASSED OVER AND WILL PASS OVER more than one person along this road. That guy that you just thought was so cute and funny may pick someone else. That beautiful girl that has you mesmerized may not even know you're alive. 
t.h.a.t.i.s.o.k.a.y
It's really okay. 
This doesn't mean you are less than or that you are unlovely.
Rejection in this sense simply means, wrong person or wrong time....and trust me, you don't want either. <---gag...you DON'T WANT EITHER.

Hear me when I say that the God who authored your very existence is so very able and willing to take care of this part of your life. These tender bits, the deep longings of your most secret heart, He knows  it all. He sees your desires, He hears your tears, and is near to every part of you.

My question for you is this:
Do you trust Him to handle this part of your life? 
Do you know the Lord enough to KNOW that He has this part covered?
I've said it a hundred times...if God cannot meet your relationship needs, then what CAN He do?
He has His hand all over the details of your life.
I challenge you to resist the urge to strive, stress, and try harder.
Instead, rest. Wait. Love. Live.
Know that you are enough. Just as you are, you are enough. The God of the universe made you and has given you the stamp of approval. 
Be patient.
Be fully who you are made to be.
Be kind.
Don't worry about making sure you're seen or noticed.
Be willing to wait and not always get what you think you want. 
Instead, trust God to give you the desires of your heart in His timing.
You know the old adage, "good things come to those who wait"? ..something about that rings true.
(disclaimer...good does NOT mean perfect)  <---BIG differnce
You are not a princess, and he is not a prince but that idea is over rated any way. 
Real, nitty gritty life is where it's at. 

I will never forget being in the hospital after having delivered Emma. I was in rough shape and Brad had to help me in ways I won't even mention. But somewhere in the process, I got so tickled, as he was helping me hobble to the bathroom because I was so pathetically helpless. I looked at my younger sister who was in the corner cuddling my newborn baby, and I said, "Abby. Whatever you do, get you a man who will help you roll your IV pole so you don't fall dragging your numb leg just trying to get to the bathroom."
Real love shows up in the most unexpected ways and places.
Your road will not be perfect or always easy. You may question a whole lot of things along the way, but I am confident of this: If you can learn that God is your source, that only He satisfies, that He loves you and puts desires in your heart for a reason, and that He is near to you every step, then I will be so bold as to say that His faithfulness will not disappoint you.  
Trust Him and WAIT. 
He's got it.
Commit every step to Him and get busy living and loving the people He puts in your path.

~stacey

Quarantine Quandaries

I have little hope that I will ever let this blogpost see the light of day. But if, by some chance it makes it to your screen, just know in advance that it is likely to be unorganized, unimportant, random, and weird. It will be nothing more than a brain dump. All the thoughts I've thought, put to paper. Well, not ALL my thoughts, because NOBODY wants to hear all that.

1. What is this Quarantine madness?! My mother-in-law used to say, "You can stand on your head for two weeks"....and I whole-heartedly agree. Give me a hard thing, accompanied with an end date, and I'll plow...or at least muddle my way through. Onward, we go...suffering in silence, because that's what I do. But this....this week six, going on seven nonsense, is enough already.stop.it.

2. The height of the Wall family "Quarantine Creativity" has been nothing more than chalk drawing on the driveway, puzzle-putting-together, random leg painting, and.....let me see.....yep, nope, that's about it. We've spent every day and night in this house, (thankful to have a few rooms to choose from) we've gone on lots of walks, hit a volleyball around together, watched some movies, slept in later than usual, and cooked a LOT more (not my favorite past time). Brad has still been seeing patients...thankful he's stayed well. 
Its been a one day at a time season in the Wall house. I would say that every day, at least one of us has an "is this really happening" sort of moment. There have been some tears, but also some laughter, some loneliness but also some bonding, and some "slowly slipping into madness" and a feeling of "I could claw out my insides" (as my friend described it). 

So I'm just here to say, that if you've been barely getting by, it's really okay.  Maybe that means you're knocking on the door of brokenness and that is a good place to be. 

If you've been in perpetual "survival mode", I get it. 

If you've lost it a time or two with your squirrelly toddlers, who have been climbing the walls AND your nerves, I'm willing to bet that you haven't scarred them for life. 

If your mess is not a cute, staged Instagram mess, but a real life, ugly mess, yep. 

I hope you've hugged more and laughed here and there. 

I hope God has shown up in your living room...the grace of God never ceases to amaze me. Its there and its plentiful.

Learning to accept the uncontrollable events that God allows...
I just can't help but think there are heart things to be learned in this stillness...
Accepting. 
Bowing your knee to it.
Submitting to Him in it.
Leaning in to it.
Not resisting, 
not running from or hiding from, 
not seeking out constant distractions, or doing everything possible to ignore, 
but instead, 
accepting with contentment, what is.
having a posture of humility, 
of being quiet, teachable, of listening....no matter what your losing or grieving. 
Patient endurance.
Quiet contentment.
Consider "everything a loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus..." Phil 3

Anyway....truth is truth, no matter how uncomfortable.
...and also, learning to cope with things being less than awesome, gaining the ability to accept the flat parts of life is a pretty important life skill our kids are going to need. and this is good practice. 
rant over.


3. WE'VE SAT IN BEACH CHAIRS IN OUR DRIVEWAY LIKE ITS OUR JOB. It's oddly relaxing. I've been so thankful for the multiple days of glorious weather. small mercies.

4. One of my favorite moments in the last few weeks, was when my Jake walked through the kitchen, paused and said, "Hey mom. You know how everyone is talking about how bad this is for us seniors? And how we are losing so much? I mean, I don't like this, I'd rather be at school with my friends, but I just heard a guy talking about how guys my age, back in World War I and II were oversees, in trenches, fighting a war. I'd much rather be here in my home, with my family. This isn't perfect, but I sure am thankful."


5. I wonder if a thing, an event, if you will,  could never be posted on the internet, if no one would every know you did it, would you do it?
I think its a good question...may be an offensive suggestion. But its something I ask myself this from time to time. Its not meant to make you paranoid (but by God's mercy, we all are ill-intentioned, and we don't want to be navel gazers and overly introspective) BUT,  its a great litmus test for why we do what we do...and something to teach our daughters. Question the motive and intentions of your actions. Questions prick your conscience, and a sensitive conscience keeps you honest and humble.

6. Our poor governor. I mean, the man is, I'm sure, not trying to kill Georgians. Whether or not you agree with his decisions, what happened to kindness? Since when is it okay to rip into a person, big or small, on social media? Maybe we don't have to share online, every single opinion we have, maybe. Sometimes, quiet is good.

7. I put on my jeans every 4 or 5 days just to make sure things are still good (or at least decent) in that department. 

8. I really hate plexiglass between me and my sweet Publix check out ladies. 

9. I wish I had bought stock in sidewalk chalk before all this.

10. Brad woke me up this morning. He taps me and says, "Hey. Get up and come have coffee. And I made you an omelet."
Me, because my eyes were literally stuck shut, I muttered,
"What time is it?"
he says, "after 7."
Because I know this sneaky trick, I repeat,
"What time is it?"
"7:15", he says. (it was really 7:13 which hardly counts as being after 7 but nonetheless I got up)
It was a good omelet and coffee. 

Hang tough, friends. 
~stacey

Tell Them the Truth, They Can Handle It

Just a quick word.

In this unplanned, un-welcomed, extended season of a lot of unknown, I just want to say, don't miss the opportunity. Its a really great one...one that has the potential for eternal impact.

Don't miss the opportunity in your own home to live out your faith before you kids. 

So few of us ever even get the chance to really trust God. 

We are Americans. We fix things. We invent things. We have awesome doctors. Our hospitals are clean and state of the art. We can make (or print-ha!) more money. We have credit cards. We buy insurance. We have guns. We have cameras on our doorbells, for heaven's sake.

You see, when a thing rolls in...a thing that is bigger than us, and seems undeterred by our defiance and our unwillingness to accept it, we have a chance to remember, talk about, and demonstrate that our hope is in the Lord. 
Like, we REALLY, LITERALLY are trusting in the Lord.

Yesterday, for the first time, Emma cried about all this Corona virus, social distancing, and home school stuff that is ironically accompanied by seemingly eternal, literal clouds and rain.

The kids and I were on the tennis courts, and out of nowhere, fear hit her precious heart and rolled down her sweet little cheeks. 
I scooped her up and reassured her once again, that God has us in the palm of His hand.

If you are a Believer, BE a Believer today, and tomorrow. 
In the grocery store, in your work place, and for goodness sake, in your home.

Of course, there is a basic, elemental, human need for security our kids have and are supposed to have. They're children...it isn't their job to worry about provision. 
So speak to that. 
Tell them, "Hey! We are good! We've got food, we have some medicine, and this will all get better in no time."

But more than that, there is a much deeper need for us humans to understand that there is a Being, bigger than anything on earth, bigger than what I can see or imagine that I am trusting in. 
One who promises to meet my needs.

tell your kids WHY we are good. 
We are good because God has His hand in and on our lives. 
that nothing happens without His knowledge and allowance
that we serve the same God who split the sea to give His children a way out of certain death. 
(That's not a made up story.)
The God who did that, who also provided manna every single day when there was no Publix freezer section, is the same God we serve today. 
We serve a God who takes hard things and makes them and uses them for our good! 

And in a little different vein:
All these things that we do, that we think we just have to have, we actually don't. 

Let that settle in your mind and take the time to accept it. 

Of course, I want to have my selection of beef, chicken, AND pork.
of course, I want prom to happen.
yes, for the love, I WANT my son's graduation ceremony to take place. 
and yes, I wish we could watch March Madness.

But again, don't miss the opportunity to do a little to combat our American idea of comfort and convenience, fun and frills. 
Our kids (and we) need to have our faith, trust, hope, and JOY in the eternal.
That's really possible, you know. 
We actually can live in a way that we celebrate life because God is the giver of it and He promises eternity beyond what we see. 
That is mind-blowingly exciting.

Let's be real Christians today. Lets actually invest in eternity and not fleeting, temporal nonsense. Let's speak and live in complete trust and abandonment to God's way and working. 
Surrender to Him.

He is God, and we are not. 
He is GOOD.
He is worthy of our trust, even when the wheels fall off.

Tell your kids the truth. They can handle it.

~stacey

~A Note to Moms...Well Really Anybody~

If I am anything, I hope that I am real. 
I hope never to give off the essence that I get it all right.

With every year that passes,

I am
slower to think I have the answers for everything
surprised by almost nothing
keenly aware of the temporal pain people and events can inflict
stone cold resolute about the few things I'm sure of (the world could fall in but I'm not moving)
have a greater understanding that life can surprise you (in good ways and in hard ways)
and I have a 1,000 pound bag of grace with me at all times, ready to hand out a generous portion to worn out, frustrated, disappointed people, and a double portion for sweet Mamas who give their heart and soul to their kids every.single.day.

I was talking to my sister the other day and we were commiserating about how you make decisions for your kids and family and you think/hope you're doing right by them but you really don't know for sure. You think you know but only time will tell.
You've thought, you've talked, you've prayed, and you've decided, 
but you are trembling on the inside. 

You know what? I think it's okay to be a little trembly about some things.

We are flawed human beings
but the redeeming news is that 
we are fit together with our kids, YOU are gifted and equipped 
to train specifically them
to handle their specific junk
to listen to them
and to, by God's grace and mercy, help them get ready to be turned loose when the time comes.

but let's be honest, there's a lot at stake. 
I have four people who are going to have memories of me. ...that's a weird and partially terrifying thought. 
A thought that begs the question, am I doing it well? 

Me personally,  I feel pretty good about the preschool/elementary years.
I loved them, rocked them, watched Winnie the Pooh with them, wiped their tears, blew bubbles with them, all that....I was good at that diaper stuff.

But let me just say, this whole season we're in now, while I don't love it any less...I'm not gonna lie, 
it's weird.
They come at me with questions and problems that in my head, I'm like yeah, I don't know what to tell you about that because that is real and it's hard. 
Except that I do, in most cases, know the truth, so I tell them. again and again I tell them.

then comes the hard part, the unnerving reality...
I CAN'T MAKE THEM BELIEVE THE TRUTH.
I keep telling them, but it's up to them and God's grace in their lives to choose truth over lies. 

And you know what the REALLY good news is? 
God is perfectly capable of taking care of your kids.
They're His anyway, and He's got big hands. 
He is working.
He's ruling and reigning and writing their story.

One of my favorite memories is of a precious, devoted Mom I had the privilege of knowing when I was in the season of little kids. 
Her daughter was/is equally precious and she babysat my kids on occasion.
Mom and high school daughter were having lunch at my house and we were talking about how to mother well. Mom was talking about some of her own years of personal struggle...years that happened to coincide with her own children being young. She was brutally honest with the fact that she was in a hard place emotionally and that she regretted the fact and wondered how or if it negatively affected her kids. I'll never forget the daughter's response. Her smile was a mile wide, and she in the most sincere, grace filled heart said, "Mom, we were fine. It was all good". 
A moment seared into my memory.

Do you see that? 

God's grace is there to cover us...when we think we are doing it well 
and when we are pretty sure we blew it. 

"Redeeming love has been my theme and shall be till I die"

As I sit here today in my living room, facing the front foyer, willingly admitting that it's one of my favorite spots to sit because it is always in order, let me just say:

keep after it.
revel in God's grace because it is plentiful.
seek Him hard.
do whatever you think needs to be done for your kids with resolve and grit.
...even if you are trembling on the inside.
don't worry about any season other than the one you're in.
today has enough in it to occupy you.

To my own Mom,
I'm forever grateful for your life. For the countless selfless things you did over and over and over. Thank you for seeking Him first. 
and for making us peanut butter toast and letting us eat it around the open stove when it was really cold outside. That sure was cozy. 

~stacey

~No One is Immune to Struggle~

We've had our own recent struggle with one of our kids in one particular area. 

Nobody panic...it's not an earth shattering, fatal, self-inflicted or terrifying sort of struggle...but it IS a struggle. 

{just take my word for it}

The thing about hard things, in this case at least, is the fact that WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT.

We don't get to pick our hard. 

We don't get to pick the type of hard, we can't choose when it will come, how long it will last and in a lot of cases, 
the end result.

No one is immune to struggle.

NO ONE is immune to struggle...no matter what social media, a magazine cover, or a movie may imply...

no one is immune to struggle.

My absolute favorite aspect of the Bible, 
(excluding  the revelation of a Savior sent for the redemption of souls)

is the beautiful, simple, AWESOME one liners that jump off the page, cut straight through to my heart, and bring tears to my eyes because my heart resounds with a 
knowing in my gut of the nearness of God to His people.

Daniel. 
Most people know a little or a lot about this man. 
He has a book in the Bible named after him and has a remarkable life story.  

We've been reading this to the kids even though it's familiar. I'm always amazed at how God sheds new light on an "old" truth. Things we've read or heard a hundred times, spoken again in a new season brings fresh new meaning.

Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon besieged Jerusalem.

Who wants to be besieged, defeated, and taken over?

nobody last time I checked. 

Chapter 1 verse 2:
"And the Lord gave Johoiakim king of Judah into his hand,"

The Lord GAVE HIM into his hand. 

God allowed it. He allows hard things.

Fast forward to chapter 2. 

King Nebuchadnezzar, has a troubling dream and demands that somebody not only interpret the dream's meaning, but scarier and much more challenging, that this same someone tell him the actual dream.

The consequence of one of his magicians or enchanters NOT being able to do this was to be torn limb from limb and have their houses laid in ruins. 

not a happy prospect.

Listen to their response to the king...can you imagine the panic?!

Chapter 2 verse 10:
"There is not a man on earth who can meet the king's demand, for no great and powerful king has asked such a things of any magician or enchanter or Chaldean. The thing that the king asks is difficult, and no one can show it to the king except the gods whose dwelling is not with flesh."

has there ever been a more beautiful, clear contrast to 
gods and God? 

Our God in fact, dwells with man. 
Jesus was flesh.
The Holy Spirit was given.
God is near to the broken hearted, the oppressed.

So Daniel, knowing the God he served, had a response of "prudence and discretion" when he was about to be gathered up and killed along with all the magicians and enchanters who had failed to meet the king's request. 

He buys some time, delays the impending slaughter, and heads straight to his friends. 
He "told them to seek mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery" (vs 18)

they begged God for mercy. for help.

and God, 
because He dwells with men, 
because He loves His people, 
because He allowed this suffering to come 
to Daniel and his friends for His plan and purpose, 
heard their cry for mercy. 

He gave Daniel a vision in the night of exactly Nebuchadnezzar's dream and it's interpretation.

Suffering is relative.
You could have it better or worse but know this:
Whatever your current situation, however hard you hard is, know that {GOD IS IN THE MIDDLE OF IT}

He is right there with you, allowing it for whatever reason. 
You have a choice to please the God of heaven by submitting to Him, submitting to the pain He is allowing you to walk through...or you can get mad, bitter, and defiant. 

the choice is yours. 

My heart's cry is that I, my husband, any my four precious children will choose over and over again to accept the things God gives us and that we honor Him with obedience and joy.

So, this morning, when I sent my big three off to school and I asked, "Okay, _____, WHERE is God?,
 and I got the response (though not overly enthusiastic),
"He's in the middle of the hard"

I smiled and teared up.

God is faithful. 
"and of His kingdom, there will be no end." Luke 1:33b

Merry Christmas!

~stacey

this was too long...and how many times can a person say the word struggle?! you know how if you look at a word long enough, the spelling no longer looks right? that's where I am with the word struggle after this post. yikes.
if you made it to the end, I'm sorry :-)

{what I know and what I don't}

We are in bed, snug as bugs at 8:38 p.m.

We lead a wild life.

Brad has a WWII documentary on, and in an effort to focus on the words I want to put on paper, I have my ear buds in with my ever faithful Pride and Prejudice Film Score Pandora station playing.
It's a winner every.single.time.

The Saturday after the first full week of school is heaven. It's that first after summer realization of, "oh yeah, I remember how this works...I can do this. It's five days of mach 80 but then we get a few hours to regroup before we repeat the mach 80 thing." Even if Saturday is all work, it's still a break. 

Brad and I spent the first hour of the day over coffee, (it's where I get all my words out, he kindly listens to al my woes and worries, and we solve every problem known to man) then we moved to the basement to do a quick but massive purge of randomness. There's not much I love more than a good clean out. Big kids have homework and younger two do their best to stay out of sight, because being seen means potentially being put to work.

A couple things I've been reminded of recently.

None of us like the hard parts of life...the unpleasant bits.
Nobody wants the uncomfortable, the unknown, the what ifs.
Who wants the un-fun stuff?
nobody.
Trials? Challenges? Failures?
no.thank.you.

"Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." James 1

COUNT IT ALL JOY when you fall into various trials.

Who does that? I mean really...WHO does that?

Just park it there a minute.
When is the last time you encountered something hard and you counted it all joy?

yep...same here but I am working on it. I don't want to live a life where every time I hit a speed bump I immediately press the panic button or become the proverbial ostrich with his head in the sand.

Oh and news flash....this truth also applies to your response to your kids trials and struggles.

Do you believe God for them? Do you believe He can meet them at the place of their need?

Their academic struggles.
Their self worth struggles.
Their friendship struggles.
Their people pleaser struggles.
Their strong will struggles.

All that...if we don't take God at His Word for our kids, then what are we doing?
Take heart and rest in that! 
God meets us at our point of need. What good news.

~~~~~~~~~

I don't claim to know as much as I used to.

I am ever more confident in who God is. He is good and He is trustworthy.
I am less dependent on myself and my own abilities in every way.

No matter how I try, I miss it sometimes.
I may or may not hear correctly what He is saying. 
I ask for direction, but don't always get what I want (what I want is handwriting on a wall).
I'm not sure about the difference between what He directs and what He allows and how many things we blame on Him, when really, we just made a choice that dictated a given result. 
I don't have answers for why certain people are afflicted with disabilities, addictions, mental illness or sickness. 
There are a lot of things I can't make right in my head...things that I'm learning to be content to place in the category of "I have no idea."

I can't tell you how many times my prayers begin with, 
"God help me"
or
"Lord, please  fill me with humility."
or
"God I have absolutely no idea what is going on, but You do."

pretty basic start to prayer for a gal who's been a Believer for a good number of years, 
but I'm telling you, without Him I am sunk.

What do I know? 

I know some good stuff. I know Psalm 103:10-14 
"He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities...
Great is His steadfast love towards those who fear Him;...
For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust."

Read that Psalm in it's entirety...it's a guaranteed encouragement. 

I know that God is near to the broken-hearted.
That He is tender towards His children.
That He never leaves or forsakes them.

I know that His plans are big, that they will not be thwarted.

While His plans are big, He also knows when a sparrow falls to the ground. (Matt 10:29)
He is intimately concerned with the details of our lives and He covers us.

He uses the ordinary and extraordinary hard things to accomplish His purposes and to mold and shape us.

I'm certain that He doesn't wring His hands over anything. 
"God stretches the northern sky over empty space and hangs the earth on nothing." 

Job 26 doesn't indicate a fretful nor an indifferent God.

I know that God is not impressed with your outside...too many Christians fall into perceived spirituality when God cuts right through all that and is ONLY INTERESTED IN YOUR HEART.
That is both comforting and terrifying. 
Ask the Lord to check your motives and purify your heart.

I know that I can have every awesome power, gifting, or character quality, 
but if I don't have love, then I am nothing.
NOTHING.
People in the Christian sector are pretty impressed with wisdom, prophetic gifting, knowledge, faith, generosity, and sacrifice. 
Having the willingness to love, even and especially when it's hard, trumps all the above. 
Crazy, isn't it?
(1Cor.13)

If God has enough love and grace for me, then He has enough for you, no matter your current circumstance or your past failures or hurts.

I can't make everything okay and I think maybe I'm learning to accept that fact. 
There's a lot of freedom and joy that comes from understating that you can't fix everything.

Don't waver on the truth of God's word. 
Put humility and love at the top of the "to do" list.
There's safety there. 

~stacey