My Nephew Got Married

 Whether it is my literal age or the age of instant everything, I find it hard to find the focus and continuity to create many or any blogs these days. 

...but also, sometimes...a "mini blog" on Instagram doesn't leave me enough room...people there mostly want pictures and a caption...and on occasion, that confinement simply doesn't get it done.

So here I am, December 18, a little before 2 in the afternoon, about to vomit all my words onto this screen.

My nephew got married yesterday. He is the older cousin and also best friend to my son, who got to be best man for the day. 

I can't yet talk about the prank they pulled  DURING THE CEREMONY, where when Jake was asked BY THE PREACHER, to give the ring, he acted like he couldn't find it in any of his pockets, looked directly at me with the most convincing, "I don't have the ring" look you've ever seen. When I tell you my hearing left me, I went white a ghost, and my vision blurred, I am not exaggerating. I literally looked away and thought "son, you are on your own for this one...I can't help you and am going to pretend I'm not here...go with God." Low and behold, he fumbled around a few seconds more in his pockets, "miraculously" pulled out the ring, followed by a collective sigh of relief from every person in attendance.    Little did he know that the father of the groom, "get it done, no nonsense, I will handle this" Uncle Jon, was about to get up give Jake Wall a good pat down to find that blasted ring. 

Real funny. 

My sister and I (both happily in our 40's) have gotten tickled more than once, about sweet young things getting married. Half of you wants to say, "Oh.....you have no idea what you're getting into...you are going to want to karate chop him in the face sometimes." 

But the way bigger half of me says this:

GET MARRIED. Love someone more than you love yourself. Buckle your seat belts, get some thick skin, put on your war paint, and get a life partner. I know what makes Brad mad, and he knows what makes me mad and we both TRY NOT to do those things for the most part. 

I told a sweet friend recently that marriage is not a god....(God is over marriage, and sometimes, marriages fall apart no matter what you do...God is bigger than that and has abundant grace for all of it) 

BUT, as much as it depends on you,  love your person hard.

Here's a little truth...I don't know a better place to practice selflessness than marriage....there is an opportunity for holiness played out on the canvas of marriage unlike any other. I'm talking to myself here, fyi...the sometimes "queen of selfishness".

Yesterday, as I looked at my parents, married in 1970, he, always ready to make a new friend, she, there for all the details; Ashley and Jon, married in1995, he is type A, she is type whatever isn't type A; Lauren and Benjamin, he breaks it out on the dance floor, while she connects with someone on the periphery, our other friends with a beautiful blended family, me at the wedding with my brood while my Brad is "stuck" back home on call...I'm reminded of just how much I love marriage. It's ugly, stressful, weird, intimate, beautiful, unique, rewarding, and hard. 

People want to be loved....to know you'll stick with them....there's something invaluable in that. Whether you are on year one, year 61, on  spouse #1 or #3, start now. NOW. 

So, nephew and new niece, brand new bride and groom, get after it. 

Work it out. Fight clean, Forget little stuff. Forgive quickly. Don't try to make your spouse you. Don't spend more money than you make. Don't look left or right. Decide that each other is your only option. Love hard. I get it..."Til death separates us" is heavy but trust me, its good. Congratulations! Marriage, so far for me, 24+ years in, is a imperfect journey well worth it.

~stacey

Hogwarts at Home

 We used to have a playroom.

The problem with playrooms is that sadly, they are always usually outgrown. 

I packed up the dollhouse, the trucks, puzzles, and trains. The Fisher Price Noah's Ark and Peek A Block Giraffe will just have to wait their turn to be played with again. There will be more fat fingered babies in my house one of these days...and trust it, when that time comes, we will be here for it...with bells on.

Until then...

I have these sweet teenager-ish kids who love all things cozy and as far as they are concerned, there's not much cozier than Gryffindor's Common Room at Hogwarts.                              

So, I set about recreating the look and feel of their favorite room.

Shout out to Hobby Lobby (holla), Home Goods, Etsy (people there make "flying" keys and I got an actual six page Daily Prophet newspaper from someone in Turkey what?!), The Crazy Book Lady (in Acworth....check her out if you need used books), the cooperation and funding from BWall, a perfect hand-me-down lamp from Mom, my Dad's patience (that would rival Job) he drilled four holes in the wrong spot because I told him to drill them in the wrong spot, re-drilled them in the right spot and patched and painted the afore mentioned wrong holes that were entirely my fault. Did he complain or roll his eyes? Nope...just smiled and whistled, and lastly, shout out to summertime, that gave me the time in the first place (RIP).

Is it just me or did that sound like an Academy Award acceptance speech?

~stacey

p.s. also I never post about decor stuff because people and truth are way more valuable and the STUFF all burns up but please indulge me just this once.

It's for the love of Hogwarts, after all. 

                                                                                                    

When Life is Hard

 I vaguely remember seeing the sign.

"WARNING! Guests prone to motion sickness or dizziness should not ride"

Maybe it was the excitement of the lack of lines to Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey or maybe it was the fact that somewhere along the way, I was told that it would be like Epcot's Soarin'. Either way, I was convinced it would be a light, airy ride that would make us feel like we were flying in and around Hogwarts. Boy was I wrong.

I knew we were in trouble when I sat down in the pitch black dark in a ride seat that was a glorified cocoon. They pulled the hefty steel harness down tightly around my chest and shoulders, I felt the padded side supports that were there to keep my head from banging the person beside me. 

I instantly broke out in a cold sweat. 

Motion is not my friend. Like at all.

To make it worse, I had ASSURED Emma that it was going to be an easy, non scary ride...the ultimate betrayal. I could do nothing to help her. I knew at this point, it was every man for himself.

When you're buckled in, and the ride is leaving the platform, despite how rough you know it's about to get, there is nothing you can do except hold on.

Okay, Stacey. This ride is max 2-3 minutes long. I can do this. If I throw up, if any of the girls throw up, it will be fine. I will desperately apologize to Emma when it's over. I'm such an idiot! Why did I think this was a "nothing" ride?! Breathe, keep your eyes shut. You can do ANYTHING for 3 minutes. Just hold on.

Over here at the Wall house, we've been in a hard season for more than a minute. Hard on more levels than anyone knows. 

That being said, I realize that my hard isn't unique. I don't have to look far to see people going through varying degrees of difficult situations and seasons. Having an awareness of the needs of others helps me not get swallowed up in self pity. At the same time, someone else's hard that is harder than mine doesn't make my hard easy. 

God is able to sympathize with my weakness. He remembers that I am but dust. He is near to the brokenhearted. I find refuge under His wings. 

Sometimes, all you can do is just hold on. 

Stay steady in the hard, buckle your seatbelt, and hold on for dear life. 

~stacey

"we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul." Heb 6:18-19

Hebrews 4:14-16

Psalm 103:14

Psalm 34:18

Psalm 91:4

Hebrews 6:13-20

Cancer Again...For Real?!

 Cancer.

In October, 2020, when this unwelcome guest interjected itself into our family's world, I had NO IDEA that four months later, it would make a second appearance.

This time, its me. 

In the last three weeks, I've had a shady mammogram, a second mammogram that confirmed the shadiness of the first, seen an oncologist, had a needle biopsy, had an MRI, seen a surgeon, had a surgery to remove lymph nodes, and am set to have a second, should be final surgery later this week.

Can you believe this nonsense? 

I know...I can't either...but, before you panic, or send me a sympathy card, let me get to the good stuff.

It was caught SUPER early, the treatment is straightforward, AND I don't have to have chemotherapy.

In fact, I would liken it to an ingrown toenail in comparison to what our sweet Abby is walking through...and she would call hers something along the line of an infected ingrown toenail (her words) in comparison to what so many others are going through.

No, it doesn't negate her hard, or my hard, but keeping in mind the suffering of others is a great way to keep your attitude in check.

I cannot adequately enough describe the goodness of God. 

He provides peace in the misery.

He makes Himself near to those who seek Him.

"There's not a place, His mercy and grace won't find me"

I've chosen to put my faith in Jesus, I've surrendered my very life to Him, so whatever happens to me, big or small, really doesn't matter. 

He bought me at a high price, so whatever He chooses to do with me, whatever His plan is, I fully trust it. I may not always be having fun, but He is worthy of my trust.

The Body of Christ, as needy as she can be, have the power and ability to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and I've reaped the benefit of this first hand. 

Little things are big things. Prayer absolutely matters. 

And on a human note, Brad Wall is my hero. That man...I couldn't shake him if I wanted to. (which I don't...I plan to keep him as long as he'll keep me) He's my quarter back, my nurse, my comic relief, my helper, my truth teller...he is as steady as the day is long. They don't come any better.

And my friends and family....I just can't talk about it. If love and loyalty in friends and family is even the tiniest glimpse of the Father's love for us and what awaits us in heaven, then I'm all in. 

God.is.good.

~stacey

p.s. Abby and I are in a club...its very exclusive. We are NOT inviting our sister, Ashley to join. She is not welcome. She can send us hot tea and chocolate, and maybe come to our meetings, but that is all.

p.s.s. Also, can I just ask...what are the odds of...two sisters, 32 and 46, being diagnosed, four months apart, BOTH being caught early??....asking for a friend. 

p.s.s.s Abby is, at this moment, undergoing chemo treatment 5 out of 6...she's my hero. please keep praying for our girl!

All The Single Ladies....and/or Guys.

In order for me to write anything longer than about 70 words, I have to BE quiet and I have to HAVE quiet. Things usually ruminate in my heart and mind for a few days before they find their way to the surface. Here I find myself with about 45 minutes of quiet and a few days post rumination. I'm flying as fast as my fingers will type, to get all this out in moderate confidence that one person may take comfort in it.

Listen to me. If you are, oh lets say, age 15 to 20+ and find yourself single or single-ish (yes, I know about how this season works) please let me say this to you. Hear this in the most loving, bossy, confident, comforting, pleading, Momma voice you can conjure up. 

(I'm about to help you out a LOT)

I have been an older teen/young adult before.
I remember WELL wanting more than life to have
"my person"
to "be somebody's"
to be someone's #1
to be picked
to be chosen above everyone else
to always have someone saving me a seat, better yet, picking me up
to have a comfortable partner that I was proud of for every awkward dance, party, or wedding.
It's a big deal and a hard wired desire for most hearts.

If I could take your face in my hands, I would most definitely tear up as I said to you: 
I know. 
I really KNOW. I remember well.
I know the questions of if, when, who, and how, will I ever find someone who chooses me, are questions heavy enough to suffocate your every breath. 
Without a doubt, you will BE PASSED OVER AND WILL PASS OVER more than one person along this road. That guy that you just thought was so cute and funny may pick someone else. That beautiful girl that has you mesmerized may not even know you're alive. 
t.h.a.t.i.s.o.k.a.y
It's really okay. 
This doesn't mean you are less than or that you are unlovely.
Rejection in this sense simply means, wrong person or wrong time....and trust me, you don't want either. <---gag...you DON'T WANT EITHER.

Hear me when I say that the God who authored your very existence is so very able and willing to take care of this part of your life. These tender bits, the deep longings of your most secret heart, He knows  it all. He sees your desires, He hears your tears, and is near to every part of you.

My question for you is this:
Do you trust Him to handle this part of your life? 
Do you know the Lord enough to KNOW that He has this part covered?
I've said it a hundred times...if God cannot meet your relationship needs, then what CAN He do?
He has His hand all over the details of your life.
I challenge you to resist the urge to strive, stress, and try harder.
Instead, rest. Wait. Love. Live.
Know that you are enough. Just as you are, you are enough. The God of the universe made you and has given you the stamp of approval. 
Be patient.
Be fully who you are made to be.
Be kind.
Don't worry about making sure you're seen or noticed.
Be willing to wait and not always get what you think you want. 
Instead, trust God to give you the desires of your heart in His timing.
You know the old adage, "good things come to those who wait"? ..something about that rings true.
(disclaimer...good does NOT mean perfect)  <---BIG differnce
You are not a princess, and he is not a prince but that idea is over rated any way. 
Real, nitty gritty life is where it's at. 

I will never forget being in the hospital after having delivered Emma. I was in rough shape and Brad had to help me in ways I won't even mention. But somewhere in the process, I got so tickled, as he was helping me hobble to the bathroom because I was so pathetically helpless. I looked at my younger sister who was in the corner cuddling my newborn baby, and I said, "Abby. Whatever you do, get you a man who will help you roll your IV pole so you don't fall dragging your numb leg just trying to get to the bathroom."
Real love shows up in the most unexpected ways and places.
Your road will not be perfect or always easy. You may question a whole lot of things along the way, but I am confident of this: If you can learn that God is your source, that only He satisfies, that He loves you and puts desires in your heart for a reason, and that He is near to you every step, then I will be so bold as to say that His faithfulness will not disappoint you.  
Trust Him and WAIT. 
He's got it.
Commit every step to Him and get busy living and loving the people He puts in your path.

~stacey